Oh impermanence. How I forget.
How I get into a trance so deep all I can think about is the stories behind the trance and the out of control emotions. The anger, the judging, the fear.
And then I am reminded.
My actions are my only belongings. Everything else is borrowed. Everything I love will not last forever. Everything I despise will not last forever. Whatever body sensations in this moment, they will not last forever.
It is painful, it is freeing, to contemplate this. When caught in a trance, part of the trance is feeling powerless to stop the trance. Part of the trance for me is fear that I can't get out of my own distressed head space. The reality is that most of the time it is an emotional storm, acted out on a stage only within my own mind, with my body taking in the toxicity that manifests later in my health. And the reality is that whatever has lead to the trance is impermanent.
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